One of Them Days

The movie One of Them Days is funny, but when one of them days happens to me, I don’t find it funny. Although, admittedly, nothing in my day beats the craziness in the movie.

Today was my students’ long-awaited trip for their civic grant project. We toured the mayor’s office and met him in person. That alone is exciting, nerve-racking, and purely exhausting. Trying to keep seven- and eight-year-olds quiet and orderly in an official government building is hard work, especially when they’re used to so much freedom at their progressive private independent school. Follow the tour guide? More like the tour guide shall follow me!

I started the trip already tired, thanks to:

  • The logistics of planning every detail of the trip.

  • Being on your period.

  • Seasonal allergies that make your throat unbearably dry.

  • Questioning if it’s all the wine—or anxiety whispering it might be mold somewhere.

  • Regular ol’ morning parenting, where everyone is grumpy, and no one wants to wake up or get going.

  • Waking up to your son’s only sneakers chewed up by the dog, so now he’s stuck wearing Crocs in 30° weather.

  • Wearing the one sweater that’s perfect for cold temperatures but turns you into a sweaty mess before 10 a.m. if it warms up, especially with the hustle of a trip day.

  • The last 30 days of school, when everyone’s running on almost-summer energy.

  • The guy who nearly merged into you on the expressway.

  • Wearing a wrist brace and fielding endless questions about what happened, even though it’s just some aging-related pain and the brace is purely preventative.

  • The student who thought it would be funny to call you trash, meaning you now have to call their parents and send an email.

  • The student who told another student to give them candy because they’re Black. Thankfully for me (due to a complicated dynamic with the mother of the child who said this) this one fell in the laps of the administrators, those who earn the big bucks!

  • The student who decided to grab his genitals (thankfully clothed!) and make suggestive movements toward another student, making that student uncomfortable enough to leave the bathroom. He denies it, gets mad, and keeps saying “bye” to shut down the conversation before walking away—another parent email.

Even after a long day, you decide to record podcast episodes to accompany the grant project, hoping to catch the kids’ memories of their experience at the mayor’s office while it’s fresh. But all they can talk about is the chocolate they got.

After all that, your son has two sports practices after school, and you realize you’re running on a cheese sandwich, some chips, and 0 mg of caffeine.

Yes, that was my reality today.

But guess what? I bought a nice salad and remembered I have trashy, mindless TV waiting for me. Plus, I have a juicer—and I can make a random drink with the random oranges and apples in my fridge. Add some rum, and I’m good to go.

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